Takin' it off here boss....
Well ladies and gentlemen I must say I have gotten a mixed bag of responses to this here blog. First of all, I didn't think anyone would actually read the snappin' thing, but those who have found the link on my IM have generally liked it I guess. I imagine I may have lost a few yankee friends if they have taken a look at the last entry. I was playing poker with a few State boys the other night and they suggested none to subtly that my having a blog was lame. They love to use the word lame. Everything is lame to them. It's kind of cool I guess. Somebody does something lame, "that's lame." Your car won't start, "this is so lame." Your officially licensed NC State blow-up doll springs a leak, "totally lame." I guess it works.
Anyway back to my point, I was kind of taken aback by the verocity of the assertions of lameness directed towards me for having this blog. So today I took a look around the web and found a few blogs. Up to this point, I was only officially aware that myself and one other person actually had blogs. Now I see the source of my agriculturally-inclined acquaitences' vehemency: Blogs are lame. I mean they are totally lame.
Just about every one I found was authored on at least a daily basis by some bleeding heart middle-upper-class high school white girl who divided her time between whining about how much the world was against her or a boy (inevitably named something surfy-sounding) wasn't paying her enough attention and talking about the literally hundreds of emo shows she and her like-minded whiners attend a year. They seem to be little more than forums for high school shout-outs and social circle name dropping.
I am mortified to be included in such a circle. I had no idea. What's a boy to do? I mean now, if I heard someone say they were updating their blog last night and blah blah blah, I might be overcome with an impulse to whip them about the head and ears with a wooden ruler. This must be the kind of impulse that the State boys were resisting the other night. I must thank them for their restraint. Except Johnny. I wish that little ho would bring it on. He'd get a pimp-slappin' to end all pimp-slaps. Yeah you heard me.
The irony of this situation is not lost on me. I am updating this blog with a lambasting of blogs in general. I suppose I should give a disclaimer of sorts. This blog will never contain: Uninteresting accounts of the night before, shameless name-listing, music show reviews, anything about the boys I am currently crushing on (that's private), annoying abbreviations (lol, sux, etc.), or whining.
This blog will contain: Angry rants, inside jokes, endless sarcasm, idle threats, creative vulgarity, arbitrary insults, and anything I think is funny at the moment.
Also, I will soon be posting a spreadsheet of all yo mommas' phone numbers.
P.S. You may have noticed my use of the word "snappin'" in the first paragraph. Do you like it? I just made it up. I think it's snappin' awesome. It a curse-word substitute, like "freakin'" which in my opinion is totally overused and "lame." Im'll get it started and before you know it you'll hear it on the new Ludacris single.
And one more thing: black-eyed-peas suck. The band not the legume. I dig the chick's skirt and all, but my urge to kill rises every time I hear "Let's get it started." That song is so snappin' lame.
posted by Bosephus Jamiroquai @ 10:03 AM
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