Well, If I say "yes," I'm an idiot, right?
*-Before you read on-*
If you are the kind of person who says stuff like "Ewww! Too much information!" then you're probably going to want to skip this post. My stomach had a bad 24 hrs and I am going to complain about it now. We are no longer in middle school. We are all adults, and anyone who says they can't relate to this is a liar.
From the too much information desk:
Tuesday, February 15th
I went to a late-night poker game tuesday night. I had gotten an extraordinary (for me at least) amount of sleep monday night and as such I was not even nearing sleepiness.
Around 11:30 - One of my buddies calls and says they are going to hang out down the road and play a little poker, if I'd like to come over. So I hop in my car, still in my pj's (sleep pants and a t-shirt since my red footsy jammies were in the wash) and head over to Josh Bone's house. It's a beautiful 68 degree night, so I put the top down and put the heat on the floor and take the long way to his place, stopping at a gas station to grab a mountain dew. The night is going well so far...
Around Midnight - I get to Josh's and he and another guy are pretty much the only two I know, the rest of the guys being unbelievable rednecks. But they are easy enough to get along with, and my own rural roots seem to give me some street cred with them so we sit down to play for a while. Well from what I can tell most of these guys have been at the bars for the last couple of hours, and they are continuing to drink as we play. Being the only non-drinker at a poker table, I have learned, has its advantages. We play for a couple of hours and I leave the table with three times the money I sat down with, which is always a good thing. I hop back in the car and take the short way home, ready for a soft bed and pleasant dreams. The night is still going strong...
Two-ish - (This really isnt up late for me. Most night, workday or no, I stay up till 1 or 2. I guess I'm still on that college sleep schedule where I don't need more than six or seven hours a night) I am still not terribly tired, but I figure I'll go ahead and hit the sack and see if I could get some sleep when...(gurgle).
"Gurgle?" I think. "What? Was that my stomach?" (Gurgle.) "Yup that was my stomach. That's weird. Stomach kind of hurts." (Gurgle!) "Hoo-boy. Maybe I better head to the bathroom and catch up on some reading..." (Gurgle.)
2:10 AM - I emerge from the bathroom, probably looking a bit tired and confused. I go directly to my bedroom and go to sleep immediately
3:05 AM - Then, from the darkness of slumber... ((gurgle)) I stir but do not awaken.
3:10 AM - (gurgle) Awaken fully but try to get back to sleep.
3:20 AM - GURGLE!! Jet to the bathroom.
3:35 AM - Emerge from the bathroom, stumble to bed. Gratefully drift off to sleep.
4:15 AM - guuuuurgle. I roll over in bed.
4:16 AM - gurglegurglegurlgegurlge. Stomp to the bathroom angry at the world.
4:23 AM - Hoping it will be the last time till morning, shuffle to bed and sleep.
4:36 AM - It's not the last time. Back to the throne.
4:46 AM - Finish this month's issue of Maxim.
4:50 AM - Leave the bathroom, eyes all squinty from lack of sleep.
4:51 AM - Email boss saying that if this doesn't stop by morning, might need to "work from home" tomorrow, hoping time stamp from email will lend weight to my plea. Head to bed, nearing tears.
5:15 AM - Guess where I am.
5:28 AM - Finish latest issue of Ultimate X-Men. Joy level is low.
5:30 AM - (Flush!)
5:32 AM - Having left my phone in the bathroom earlier, I decide to record this miserable moment for posterity. Go to bed and to sleep.
6:58 AM - Ding! Ding! Ding! Round Six.
7:10 AM - Sleeeeeep.
7:45 AM - Alarm goes off. Snooze.
8:00 AM - Alarm goes off. Snooze.
8:15 AM - Last-chance alarm goes off. I get up to check my email to see the verdict from my boss. Good news! "If you're not feeling better in the morning, stay home." I am not, and so I do. Back to bed go I.
9:00 AM - Stomach reminds me that my day off will not as fun as I would like it to be.
9:15 AM - Back to bed.
10:00 AM - 6:00 PM - My day is spent sleeping, checking email and (ahem) reading.
6:15 PM - Leave apartment for first and only time of the day to get food with "couch-roomie" Ken. Regale him with tales of my porcelain bravery. He doesn't eat much.
7-9:00 PM - Carolina plays Virginia. We win. I sleep through a third of the game.
9:00 PM - 1:00 AM - Watch TV/nap in the dark with mutually lazy roommates. Fall asleep on floor.
5:00 AM - Wake up on floor and go to bed.
7:45 AM - New day begins!!
If I never see my bathroom again it will be too soon.
Well I hope you enjoyed this exhaustive account of my physically and emotionally taxing struggle with my true "inner"-self. Oh that's funny. If you've stuck with me this long, good for you. Waste a little more time and gimme a comment or two telling me how sorry you feel for me.
Thanks for the imput on the new template. I don't know how long I'll keep it, as it is a bit too dark for my taste. It was fun to share some more of my paintshop skills with the world. The whole look, especially the little "reflections" I added to my eyes, I stole from Neil Gaiman's Sandman, which is a wonderfully gothy nerderrific read.
posted by Bosephus Jamiroquai @ 4:21 PM
3 Comments:
I must admit that I really like your new template. Dark backgrounds with light text are always easier on the eyes. It took me a couple of days to figure out that was you and not some mafia guy but I'm sure that was the effect you were going for.
If not, it should have been.
Above all I guess the biggest supporting reason for my liking this one better is the fact that I can actually see it. I couldn't even see the effects of your last one.
SIGH....
Sorry about your digestive hardships last night (picture me saying that with a straight face). Better be glad I don't know how to post that picture on adultfriendfinder.com or you'd have hundreds of middle-aged, introverted, socially deprived women beating down your inbox. Put a shirt on! It's scary out there!
(cousin)Melissa
Normally I would say 'too much information' but for some reason, I find this oddly entertaining. Apparently I like hearing about your stomach issues. So please, continue to enlighten me.
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